The “Wrong” One.

So often I hear others referring to their ex-partners as the “wrong” man or woman, especially when trying to make the point that they may now be with the “right” partner.

I’ve used that classification myself before, but recently came to a realisation that I want to share with you all. I’m going to speak solely about myself and my experiences in this post. I won’t be making any generalisations at all; however if you find parallels with your own experiences, or the experiences of persons you know, then great!

When I think back on my previous longterm relationships, I cannot honestly say that there were no good times. And for (almost) every one of those relationships I also have to admit that my partner would have taught me something about relationships, life, and maybe most importantly, about myself.

I’m the type of person who believes that every experience is good experience. Not, every experience is a good experience. But, every experience is good experience. That means that good or bad, whatever I have been exposed to in life must serve me well as a learning experience going forward.

I’m also the type of person who believes that every person in my life is there for a reason and a season. Some reasons are more bearable than others and likewise some seasons are way longer than others.

These beliefs of mine together form the basis of my next statement:

Maybe there is no such thing as the wrong person, but really each of my exes was the right person for that stage/season of my life. After each one I had learnt new things, certain aspects of my character were moulded a bit more and I had a better idea of what I wanted/did not want in my next relationship.

I may meet a “Mr. Right-For-Me” tomorrow, but on the basis of what I have stated would he have been Mr. Right-For-Me had I met him 9 years ago? No. Because the person I am now is very different from who I was then. So when others speak of finally meeting their Mr./Ms. Right after so many “wrongs” I consider it kind of ridiculous, because whatever moulding processes took place in the previous relationships, they were necessary for you to reach the stage you’re at now.

image

I think that this photo is sweet. I really do. But by now you know how I feel about that “wrong” label 🙂

xo.